Family of four. 4.5 Months. 19 weeks.
Our New Normal.
Now that we've become a family of four, its almost like its always been this way. Those initial first {{really}} tough days are in the past and we've settled into somewhat of a routine. And yeah. Its gotten easier. Definitely not EASY. But easier. Some days I totally feel like I've got it all together. And then I have days like today where I'm trying to nurse the baby to sleep upstairs and my toddler is screaming {{literally hyperventilating}} in his playroom downstairs to let him out.
I swear that I don't even blink an eye now thinking about packing both kids up to go somewhere, and I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that there is no down time with 2. When one is napping, the other one is ready to party! But I woulden't change it for anything.
At Sebastian's Christening last month
Now that I'm a real veteran with multiple kids (haha JOKE) here's 7 things I've learned {fast} as a mommy of 2:
1. Multi tasking: As women, we are conditioned to multi task. We do it at work, at home, and I swear even in our sleep! I always considered myself pretty good in that department. Then, baby 2 came along. I learned pretty quickly that I had to step up my game or I literally would not survive! Things like Breastfeeding while cutting up my toddlers lunch and doing squats while the baby is in the carrier have become the new normal.
2. Divide and Conquer: I can't stress this enough. I think back to having just one baby and how if one of us had Max, the other was free. To do ...whatever. the. hell. they. wanted! Wow..those were the days. Now we're man to man. And having one seems SO EASY you guys. Life is so much easier when you're only dealing with one little persons needs. Your statistics for a meltdown are cut in half so your outing is already going to be more successful! Even at home, knowing that my husband is playing with Max while I'm putting the baby down for a nap makes so much of a difference. So. Divide and conquer my friends (when you can).
3. Lower your expectations: This honestly goes for everything in your life. I know for a FACT I have become less productive due to the sheer fact that I never sleep. On top of that I have two little peoples needs that I am constantly juggling. Lower your expectations. Shit like dishes, laundry etc. can wait. I know its hard, but when you're on your own sometimes it just needs to wait until one of them is down for the count catching some ZZ's. Life will get easier ....soon.
4. Get out: I know how much energy it is to plan to get out with multiple kids. You're juggling eating and napping schedules and spit up and poop and potty training and everything else that kids do and are. Without either one having a complete meltdown or the older one seriously injuring the other when my back is turned..but just GET OUT. I always find when I make the trip out its just better. Yeah, the baby is a handful sometimes and do I love nursing in public? NO. BUT THE KIDS GOTTA EAT, people. Max is so much happier when stimulated so if I can even take them for a run around the {{smaller}} mall, or even Barnes and Noble for an hour I do. A happy toddler = a happy mom. And lets be honest as long as there's milk and my arms, the baby is pretty happy.
5. Just say NO: I know this may sound like a contradiction (see #4), but sometimes you just have to say NO. I went through a period {{a very dark period lol}} where both of my kids were sick {{read: no one was sleeping, least of all me between the two of them}} and I had to bail on two social events with BFFs within a 3 day time period. Yeah, that was a drag. I was working on about 3-4 hours of broken sleep, a full working schedule, 2 sick kids, and being sick myself. The guilt train was in full effect. I miss my friends. And sometimes IT ISNT FAIR but thats life with kids and it won't always be this way. Sometimes, you have to say no and look after yourself. A majority of the time they will totally get it. They've been there. And if they don't get it, why are you friends?!!! Cut yourself a break and just go to bed. There will be time to catch up with friends. Just not when you're sick. And your kids are sick. 4 months after giving birth.
6. Bribery: Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. When I'm on my own 2-3 times a week for bedtime and I don't want to hear my toddler screaming for me in our playroom when I'm nursing/putting the baby to bed, he gets to use my computer. Or gets to use the washable bath crayons in the tub IF HE's GOOD and waits patiently. Yeah, it sucks when I have to clean the washable crayon when he's in bed and in essence its making more work for me, but I get 10 mins of {{sweet, sweet }} silence putting my baby to sleep and we are all happier for it.
7. Crying is ok sometimes: At the end of the day, I'm only one person and I can only do so much multi-tasking. And I'm doing my best. As long as they are both healthy, safe, warm, and fed, its ok that I can't get to them right. this. second. They'll survive. And not only will they survive, they'll also slowly over time learn the important lesson that the world doesn't revolve around them.
4 months down, a lifetime of learning to go.
xo
Alex